I Tried “Clown Contouring” Makeup And It Was An Epic Disaster

There are many issues I do not perceive in life: electrical energy, easy methods to change a tire, Miley Cyrus … and now, clown contouring.Clown contouring, for these of you who do not know, entails utilizing clown-style make-up to contour your face.RELATED: Working Dad Asks Stay-At-Home Wife For Weekend ‘Mornings Off’ Taking Care Of Their Newborn, Stirring DebateClowning (as I wish to name it) makes Kim Kardashian’s make-up routine appear to be kid’s play.Makeup artist Bella de Lune got here up with the idea of clown contouring, as a result of, as she places it, “make-up is enjoyable.” Plus, she’s been known as a clown so many instances, she figured she may as effectively play the half.I had a number of fears going into this. One was that I’d lose 20 minutes of life contouring my face to appear to be a clown. The second was that my pores and skin tone is of course tan and I wasn’t positive if all these pastel colours have been actually going to work for me.The third was that I’d waste one other 10 minutes of my life wiping all that sludge off my face.Here’s an image of pre-clown contouring make-up:And this is one in every of me smiling so you already know I’m not a serial killer:My love of investigative reporting means I’m soldiering on in the trouble to maintain you, my pricey reader, knowledgeable.Plus, I love make-up like d-bags love telling girls to smile. So right here goes:RELATED: Woman Asks If She’s Wrong For Deliberately Throwing Her Daughter’s Birthday Party On Her Stepsister’s Wedding Day1.  I wasn’t too positive about inserting the darker shade beneath my eyesMainly as a result of I’m not fascinated with wanting just like the grim reaper. (Also as a result of I did not wish to discover out I’d wasted cash on concealer when the true secret to a beautiful face was making my under-eye space darker.)2. I started emulating Bella’s look by highlighting my brow, the bridge of my nostril, and a part of my cheeks with the white shade.Putting all this cream make-up on me felt bizarre.3. I tried some gentle contouring earlier than a la Kimmie Okay, however this was insaneI wasn’t even midway via and I already felt like I was sporting manner an excessive amount of make-up.4. I continued by including the pink circles on my cheeks.At this level, issues have been getting actually loopy.My face appeared like a 5-year-old went to city on it.Nonetheless, I continued with the orange and brown colours till my look was full:Upon myself within the mirror, I felt a slight twinge of worry.I’ve by no means been an enormous fan of clowns, and now right here I was watching one within the mirror.Thanks, Stephen King! Now got here the time for the true fact: Would I appear to be a sculpted goddess after I added basis?I grabbed one in every of my magnificence blenders, saturated it in water, squeezed out the surplus, and began stippling my face. Several minutes later, I STILL appeared like a clown!RELATED: Woman Reveals Why She Agreed To Be Bridesmaid At Her Ex’s Wedding To Her Former FriendI was completely perplexed.Sure, a few of it had blended away however I nonetheless had a ridiculous shade of scorching pink seeping via my cheeks, and your complete face appeared mucky and disgusting like I fell right into a mud pit after which let it dry.Just to present you some perspective, I utilized Giorgio Armani Silk Foundation — the Rolls Royce of foundations.The stuff of legend. It might cowl up a scratch on a automobile, that is how intense it’s.I did not simply smack on some BB cream and name it a day.So, if my basis could not cowl up this contour mess, I did not know what might.I can solely assume Bella used some kind of heavy theatrical pancake make-up.Related Stories From YourTango:Or, possibly I simply did not know sh*t about easy methods to apply make-up:Can you see how depressing I am? I even cannot consider I’m permitting this photograph to be posted in public. Suffice it to say, I’ll NEVER strive clown contouring once more. I wasted quarter-hour making use of all these things to my face simply to finish up wanting like somebody who eats tub salts.From now on, I’ll simply persist with the essential nostril contouring and name it a day. RELATED: Bridesmaid Warns Wedding Guests ‘I’m Not Gonna Be Racist’ Before Delivering Rude SpeechAll images: AuthorRachel Khona has written for The New York Times, The Washington Post, Playboy, Penthouse, Maxim, and Cosmopolitan amongst others.Sign up for YourTango’s free publication!

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